As I get older, with house moves, hobby re-organisations, and household purges in increasing numbers behind me, I am often beset by a sense that I used to have a thing - and may still, somewhere - but can no longer find it.
In previous times I was able to maintain an accurate mental catalogue of wargaming items owned, and by some strange unconscious mnemonic know which room, shelf, cupboard or drawer to look in for it. Not so now.
Nowadays, the conversation with self goes something like this:
"Hmm, where is that old rusty-stapled copy of Phil Sabin's Legion? I would like to try adapting it for use with my current set-up."
"Spare room, top shelf, second bookcase from left, in yellow envelope. Held upright by the large candle given to us THAT Christmas."
"You are thinking of the old house."
"So I am."
"So where is it now?"
"It could be anywhere."
And it's not just rules that go astray: it can be whole boardgames, or whole troves of figures. I recently re-found a game I'd given up on ever recovering. I had scoured the house, mentally retraced every interaction with it, and still been left at a total loss. Had I given it to someone after a few beers and not remembered doing so? Unlikely, but are my faculties more damaged than I know? Had I left it in Japan? Surely not.
I went through everything again. A year or so after I had entirely given up on it, it was found while cleaning under the passenger seat of the car. Once recovered, memory returned: I'd stowed it there for a weekend away in Christchurch, just in case a game might be called for.
And digitisation has not proved to be quite the boon it once appeared to be, either. Initially, digitisation felt like having something etched in stone.
"Now that I have those rules and army lists in PDF form I will have them forever!"
There was a sort of euphoria. You could be careless of paper copies, throw away manila folders, ditch ringbinders. Why take up space when you can print it off again any time you want? And anyway, you can always download the latest latest latest version from the yahoo group.
But all was not as it seemed: three computer meltdowns later, the CD-ROM* you might have backed it up to is no longer accessible on any device you own; the yahoo group dedicated to the rules is long defunct; the cost of home-printing anything lengthier than the essential items list for your kid's school camp is such that it's cheaper to buy (and ship in) a hard copy.
So what do you do, when you're idly gazing at a safely unplayable War in Europe (or similar) on your shelf and are suddenly stabbed with a "but what about that set of 6mm rules that you got ten years ago for D-Day and Beyond?"
1) Give up on thinking about wargaming. If it is not until I am reminded of something that I remember I used to have it (and can't then remember what happened to it), avoiding the possibility of being reminded in the first place circumvents the whole process!
2) Recognise that if you'd forgotten about it until now, it probably hadn't assumed any huge importance and finding it / not finding it** is unlikely to derail future enjoyment of the hobby.
3) Accept that these things are going to happen and - while hoping that the thing you are thinking of might turn out to be a) somewhere accessible and b) useful - use the enthusiasm caused by reminder of said item to fire you up for something you already have.
And so, by extremely roundabout ways - most lately via option 3 - we come to introduce a future refight of Raphia, using Commands & Colors: Ancients Epic rules, played using 15mm figures, on Memoir 44 boards.
To be continued...
*if one could find it
** I've since lent off the game I 're-found' because it was not one I was likely to play anyway!
